I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You were trust falling into bushes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
