you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
