I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
