Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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