If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
