I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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