i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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