I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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