a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
