Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
