You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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