your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
