Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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