I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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