I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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