Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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