that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
