all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
