1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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