do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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