worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
