My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
