i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
