If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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