Jerry, you need to find god
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
