ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
