well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
