how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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