Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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