You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
