I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
