Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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