I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
