I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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