Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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