were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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