...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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