I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
