he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
