She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
