I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
