What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
