good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
