thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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