I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
