For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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