his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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