he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
