i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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