He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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