Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
there is glitter all over my balls
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
