Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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