Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
