It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
