In the future we'll all be gay
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize