It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
