No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
