DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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