new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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