Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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