There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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