Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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