3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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