bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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