So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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